英语与社交【1】：开场策略

2002年6月25日傍晚6时，Simmy 在澳洲墨尔本机场焦急地等待着飞往奥克兰的航班。13小时前与父母含泪告别的那一幕还在不断重演，他知道，他即将踏上一个全新的国度，那里将会是他另一个全球化生活的开端。 他从此要在这个国家留学、生活、就业…… 他出过“非近”门，但最多也是跨省，而这一次是货真价实的远门，跨越地球南北半球之行。他当然担心自己在国内中学和大学两年的英文交谈底子。他的担心是有道理的，多少人认为国内强调的英文口语和英文交谈是一样的，其实完全不然，因为前者还是停留在一个语言内容（比如词汇、语法和句型或者背诵模仿）的填鸭层面上，而实际的英语交谈更需要的是——反应机敏、准确、得体的交谈策略。

话说正在澳洲机场的Simmy, 他好想在候机室和那些叽叽喳喳的老外们聊天，可是他不知道该如何开始和说些什么：要是用错了词怎么办？要是没人能听懂他说的话又该如何？要是别人向他提问，他不知道该如何作答又怎么办？Simmy当时想到的是，“我要有能随手拈来的巨大词汇量该多好！我要能和周围的老外一样自由自在地谈笑风生又该多好！”

亲爱的冲击波英语的读者们，我相信你们有一天，也会像Simmy那样在国际机场的候机大厅前往世界各地，但我衷心地希望，那个时候，你们已经准备好与老外们口若悬河了。而《冲击波英语交谈策略》这一系列的文章，就是送给那些这样有理想、有抱负的学习者和英语爱好者们的礼物。

交谈开端一的般性策略：

当我们第一次遇到某人，或者老外熟人，大部分的谈话以询问“具有关心范畴的”个人信息为主，因此这些信息最可能包括：

Where do you live?

What do you do for a living?

What brings you here?

如果聊天继续下去，那么人们往往转移话题到他们最熟悉的内容，比如：

Personal interests and hobbies

Your environment (the airport, restaurant, hotel, park, beach, etc.)

The weather (但值得注意的是，已经有不少老外提出：中国学生滥用天气作为交谈必聊工具，会引起人们的反感，感觉是为了练习口语而说，而不是真正地对身边的人和事感兴趣)

尽管英语国家的人们往往很喜欢爱好与陌生人攀谈，有些主题如果选择了会让人感觉过于亲密。这样的主题包括：

marital status 2) age 3) income 4) religion 5) politics

间接老练型策略：这是一种有礼貌并且不唐突的尝试，以防别人不愿意或者没有兴趣与自己深谈下去。

May / could I borrow your newspaper / magazine / the salt and pepper?

Could you tell me if this is where the plane leaves for Melbourne?

Would you happen to know the nearest post office / a good restaurant / a nice hotel?

4) I was wondering of you’re from around here. This is my first visit to Manhattan.

5) Sorry to bother you, but is this seat taken / is anyone sitting here?

6) Would you mind telling me where you got that book?

7) Could I trouble you for change? I don’t seem to have any quarters.

8) You wouldn’t happen to know if there’s a Cafe / a bank / a grocery store near here?

直接友好型策略：这是一种开门见山，直接向对方表示友好和兴趣的方式。

Excuse me, do you have the time?

This is a great hotel, isn’t it?

I can’t believe how busy the airport is today.

Nice day, isn’t it / eh?

So, what brings you here?

Do you come here often?

Are you from here?

如果对方继续对与你交流感兴趣的话，他们会希望了解更多你的信息，比如：

Nationality: I am Chinese / Korean / German / Mexcian.

Residence: I’m from Beijing / Seoul /Hamburg / Guadalajara.

Job: I’m an engineer / a teacher / a student / a system analyst. I am in advertising / in electronics / in insurance. I am self-employed / retired. I am with McGraw-Hill / AT&T / Siemens.

Hobbies and interests: I’m interested in sports / fashion / travelling / art. I’m into aerobics / gourmet cooking / pottery.

在交谈中显示真实的“兴趣盎然”

实际交谈中，有礼貌固然重要，但以真诚、自然的方式显示对交谈者的话感兴趣是更为关键的！以下回应从正式性到非正式性排列：

That must be very exiting /challenging / interesting! (formal)

That sounds very interesting, indeed!

Now, isn’t that interesting!

You don’t say / mean it!

You’re kidding!

How interesting!

Is that so!

Really!

Wow!

Uh-huh! (informal)

一般来说，如果你和对方在前面部分交谈甚欢，那么下一步，你会想到的是做一番自我介绍。在我们介绍自我介绍的方式前，请注意以下几点：

多用名少用姓：在英语文化，人们通常介绍自己的first name (名)，而不是姓(surname or family name)，就算别人同时给了他们的姓，也会希望你在联系的时候用他们的名（first name）。换一句话说，英文文化对名字没有太多的正式与非正式的区别，you的使用可以针对任何年龄、地位身份或熟悉程度。

区分“How are you?”与 “How do you do?”: 前者是一个问题，需要获得一个回答。而后者是一个问候语，往往重复该用语来回应。还有就是，如果你希望询问的是对方的身体健康情况，最好使用 “How are you feeling now?” 或者 “How are you?”。

握手问题：传统上，人们往往在自我介绍的时候握手，尤其在正式的商业场合。在那样的情形下，男性几乎都会握手，然而对于女性来说，握不握手具有可选择性。当你第一次与某位女性见面时，正确的做法是，等待对方选择握手，或者不握手。

非正式场合以姿势为主：在许多非正式的场合下，握手并不是常见的习俗。年轻人往往会用姿势，如挥手等招呼或者问候对方。如果你不知道该如何做，最好的办法是，观察别人是如何相互招呼和问候的，然后学着去做。

Meet的“首见结识”意味：我们常常使用meet来表示与某人相识，如果某人说：How did you meet your husband or wife? 他们其实是在问：你们的第一次会面的情况是如何的？(How did you first introduced？), 而不是你上一次见他或她的时候情况怎样？

如：

A: How did you meet your girl friend?

B: Actually she was my classmate from school days, and at first I didn’t even like her.

自我介绍的策略 (从正式到非正式)：

May I introduce myself? My name’s Simmy.

Let me introduce myself. I’m Yolanda Song.

By the way, I am Ice Li.

交谈时的破冰策略：

询问对方是否第一次来访该城市

Is this your first time to Shanghai?

Have you been to Beijing before?

Are you new to IETG (a company name)?

Are you familiar with this area?

How long have you been here?

2) 询问某人此行目的：

Are you here on business / a holiday?

Did you come here to work / study / travel around?

Do you plan to stay here long?

Which school / university are you studying at?

How long are you staying / visiting?

3) 询问某人到目前为止的城市体验

Have you seen much of the city / country?

So how do you like it so far?

How was your flight / trip / first lecture?

The weather’s been nice / great / very cold, isn’t it?

Are you used to / have you got used to the food yet?

4) 询问某人的个人信息：

Where are you from?

Where do you call home?

What part of China do you live in?

Are you traveling alone or with family / friends?

Do you like music / theatre / sports / skiing / swimming?

What do you do for a living?

What kind of business are you in?

交谈的交互性质与策略

我们在交谈时，如果自己是被介绍的一方，那么往往先会被对方提问以示其对你的关心和友好，那么这时你应该也以友好和同样的兴趣去回应对方。因此，一个好的策略是：在回应对方的提问后，抛出同样的问题或者一个新的问题去显示你对交谈同样地感兴趣与关心对方。这样一来，交谈就不至于会由对方一人承担或者被迫中断。

例如：

A： Have you been here long? B: No, I’ve just arrived. And you?

A: Have you been to the gallery? B: No, not yet. Have you?

A: Are you staying very long? B: No, only a few days. How long are you here for?

如果不想像鹦鹉学舌一样，你还可以通过不同的方式去询问相同的主题，如：

A：Where are you from? B: From Beijing. And where do you call home?

A: Are you here on business? B: Yes, I am. What / how about you?

A: How long are you staying here? B: Two weeks. Are you here very long?

A: What do you do for a living? B: I’m an architect. And where do you work?

保持未来密切联系的策略 (从正式到非正式)

It’s been great / a pleasure /meeting / seeing / talking to you. —— My pleasure, too. / The pleasure is all mine.

Nice to have met you. —— Likewise. / Me, too, very much so.

I really enjoy our conversation / talking to you. —— I do, too. / Same here.

We’ll have to stay in touch. —— That’s a deal. Give me a call /a ring / a buzz.

We should get together again / sometime / soon. —— For sure.

Look me up next time you’re in town. —— I will do that.

Don’t forget to give me a call / send me an e-mail. —— You bet!

Drop in sometime. —— Sure thing. / I will sure try.

祝愿某人好的策略

Have a nice day / a pleasant evening / a safe trip / an enjoyable flight back. —— You have a nice day, too. / Wish you all the same.

Enjoy your flight / stay / tour. —— Thanks! Will see you later.

Good luck to you. —— Same to you.

All the best. ——Likewise.

Take care. —— You, too.

Take it easy. —— Yes, I will, and all the very best to you, too.

该交谈策略的日常训练项目：

描述并且谈论你的工作或者学习

描述并且谈论你的家庭

描述并且谈论你成长的城市、国家

描述并且谈论你的旅途或者观光游玩体验

描述并且谈论你在某处的原因（比如现居住在某宾馆、在某机场候机、在某餐馆用餐、在某城市做某事、或者在某学校办事）

描述并且谈论你所在地或者家乡的天气或者气候

描述并且谈论你在旅程中或者在其他地方见过或者经历过的某件难忘的事情

描述并且谈论一个最近的运动项目、社交活动或者文化事件

描述并且谈论你注意到的一个非常特别的文化现象或者社会习俗

最后，学习者应该准备一本词汇和短语笔记本，把在熟练化该交谈策略的训练过程中遇到的生词记录下来，并且对它们展开精确、灵活、频繁的使用。